What should you say in your first letter to your new Russian sweetheart?

The jpoc guide to postal relationships with women from russia and other eastern european nations.

On my page about the likely response to your first letter, I said that the key issue was that your letter must make you sound like a human being.

It seems odd to me that I should need to say something like that but I have seen, or have been told about some of the letters that have been received by some women who have placed ads.

I'll make some suggestions here about what you should say and also about what you should not say. Also, please, read my page on tips about writing to a person who does not speak English as their first language.

It is easier first of all to write about what you should not say. don't talk about sex. I have seen what some men have written, some of the women that I know from Russia have told me about what men have written to them and I have read tales on the Russian Women mailing list. These things have shocked me. I was shocked not because I am a prude but because I cannot understand why men would have written about the size of their manhood or the length of time that they take over foreplay. Things like that may go down well in adult chatrooms but not when you are writing to a woman to start a serious long term relationship.

Next, don't boast and exaggerate. Tell the truth. If you own a successful business, say so but don't give figures for the value of your investments etc. Things like that are easy to misunderstand and you can scare away women who think that you are just trying to buy a wife. On the other hand, those women who want to scam you will see the dollar signs spinning before their eyes.

So after all of that, what should you say?

You must write about yourself, why you are applying to ads from Russian women, why you are replying to this ad in particular and what you hope for the future.

That all sounds very easy but you need to think about it quite hard.

Who are you? Of course, there is a physical description and the bare facts of your work and where you live but there is a lot more to say than that. what makes you tick? How do you relax? What are your favourite books, CDs, movies etc?

Why are you reading and replying to these ads? Write about your situation and what made you decide to do this and what you can offer to a woman and what you hope for in the future that you both might share.

Lastly, why are you replying to this ad? Here is your chance to make the woman feel special. Don't just say that you are replying because of her looks, write something more about what it was in her ad that interested you.

Well, that is it. Read it all again and then go and write your first letter. Remember, you can use the same letter to any number of women as long as you take care to personalise the bit where you say why you chose to reply to her particular ad. So, take your time, invest a lot of thought and have a lot of luck.

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