Tricks that women play. The jpoc guide to postal relationships with women from russia and other eastern european nations.
First of all, I want to make one thing totally clear. Most of the women who place ads on the internet are totally honest and have no desire to trick anyone out of anything. A small percentage only are dishonest. If you write to fifty women, I expect that you will find that you will get one or two responses only from women who will try to trick you.
On this page I want to write about some of the tricks that have been tried by women who are writing to men from the West. I will write another page on the tricks than may be played by a woman once she has moved to live with man in the west.
I hope that, if you read this page you will be forewarned of many of the schemes that they may use against you. Please, don't get too paranoid. The women with whom you will be dealing are far more honest than, for example, used car salesmen and we generally manage to pluck up the courage to buy used cars don't we?
Most, but not all, of the tricks revolve around money but first I'll write about some of the others.
This happens from time to time. Usually, a woman gets the idea that what her friend needs is a nice American husband and she places an ad somewhere. When the letters and emails come in she replies as if she were the woman. After a while, having selected one or two men, she presents them to her friend and encourages her to continue the correspondence. There have been credible reports of mothers doing this on behalf of their daughters and in at least one case, an American man claimed that he arrived in Ukraine to find out that the person whom he was visiting did not even know that her mother had been writing!
The definition of not available will vary of course but I think that most men would not be happy to discover that they are writing to a woman who is living with her boyfriend. Now, there is a difference of values here. You may find a woman who sincerely believes that it is OK for her to have a casual boyfriend, perhaps even one who lives with her, while she looks for a husband in another country. I think that most men would be offended by this but what about the case of a woman who has left her husband and started divorce proceedings but who has not actually received the final papers from the court?
What about the women who set out just for material gain then? Not all of them will be aiming to receive money.
Imagine a woman who lives in a small, uninteresting town in Russia or one of the republics. She places an ad on the internet and receives a reply from a man in Italy. They agree that he will pay for a tourist visit for her to come and stay with him for two weeks in Milan. Well, that's not a bad offer. A free holiday, spending money, gifts, a full time attentive personal guide. Even if the man cannot invite the woman to his own country, they can go on holiday to a third country. I have to say that the archives of the Russian Women List are full of tales of men who have felt cheated after going on a holiday to Thailand, Turkey etc. The best protection is to visit a woman in her own town.
A woman writes to a man and, after they have exchanged a few letters, she asks him if he can help her to cover the cost of her email expenses. she explains that it costs her twenty dollars a month to use the email at an internet cafe and another ten dollars a month to go there twice a week to read and send email. That doesn't sound unreasonable and who could begrudge such an amount for his sweetheart? Except that the sweetheart is saying the same to five other men and is making a good income.
Let's call these the domestic disaster, the sick relative, the travel arrangement and the wedding plan. The details vary but always, a man is asked for a large sum of money for some plausible problem or event and, all too often, the ploy works and a man loses a few thousand dollars. Is there anything that you can do to guard against this? Of course there is.
Suppose that your 18 year old son came home one day and told you that he had crashed his car and, as you had the minimum insurance, it would cost you five thousand dollars to fix. What would you do? Would you just hand over a wad of cash? I doubt it. (Just in case you are the kind of person who would hand over the money, I wish to inform you that I just crashed your car and it will cost five grand to fix and you should send me the money now.)
Back to the reality of a teenaged son alleging five grand's worth of damage to a car, I think that, in these circumstances, most people would go outside to look at the damage and then get a garage to quote for the job and then, when all was fixed and the car was ready and the work inspected, pay the money to the garage. So, just do the same in these circumstances. Check up on the bills and pay directly.
For example, suppose that your sweetheart needs money to fly out to meet you and says that a ticket will cost fifteen hundred dollars. Don't wire the money. Go to a local travel agent and buy the ticket there. Pay them but arrange for the ticket to be collected from the airline in your lady's own country. Make sure that you buy a non-refundable ticket and all is fine. OK, you an say that this particular strategy will still lose you the money but first of all if the lady is out to trick you, at least she will not get the money and secondly, just imagine how the phone conversation might go:
"You must send me $1500 for the tickets."
"No, I'll pay for them here and arrange that you can collect tickets when you go to the airport and check in."
"No, that is no good, you must send ME the money!"
Well, if you have that conversation and still buy the tickets, there is nothing that anyone can do to help you.
As I said above, you are unlikely to fall victim to these tricks. Most people do not but they do crop up from time to time. Don't fret too much but remember, if something does come up that smells very fishy, there just might be a shark in that Jacuzzi.
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